Everybody gets through the first few weeks with baby and so will I… Won’t I?
After 9 months of extreme nausea that lead to prenatal depression (you can read more about it here) I counted down the days to my due date…
I was ready. Ready to have this baby. I mean, I’ve done this before. I know that my time is no longer my own, that my body is going to change in every way possible, that I’m going to wear those hideous mesh panties and huge boat-like maternity pads for at least two weeks…
You could say I was prepared.
Nope. Wrong. I was completely unprepared when it hit me.
Long story short – postpartum kicked my (mesh-covered) butt.
Why was it so difficult this time round? I don’t know! Maybe it’s because I’m older… Maybe it’s because I forgot some of the (gory) details?
But here’s some of the things that hit me hard (again).
1. It’s humiliating
If you think getting a brazilian wax is humiliating – try baring your vagina to more than seven people in theatre. You get on the bed, your legs are numb and then you just lie there, legs wide open, baring it all.
My advice: Get a wax! Front, behind and centre! Your vagina is literally in the spotlight.
3. Crying (a lot)
Yes, it’s a joyous day! And there’s beautiful, happy, Insta-worthy moments, but never ever underestimate your hormones. They could go completely haywire. Mine did! Especially on Day 3…
I was a wreck. Enough said.
The teary veil will lift eventually… I promise you are not crazy, just hormonal.
4. Still looking pregnant
Arriving home after my caesar cradling our new baby brother, Minki ponders my stomach (still looking very much pregnant), and asks, “Mommy, who then is in your tummy now?”
It’s three weeks later and I’m still rocking my maternity jean. Not because I love it, but because it’s the only piece of clothing that fits.
Make peace with the fact that you will still look 6 months pregnant. The truth hurts (and so does your Forever New skinny jean).
5. Breastfeeding is (not) easy
I was breastfeeding Minki for 13 months and was confident that I will be able to do it again. He latched like a pro, but I’m not going to lie. Day 4- 7 was more painful (and more emotional) than my c-section.
Engorged boobs that will make Pamela Anderson jealous, sensitive nipples, milk spraying everywhere, the smell of cabbage leaves…
Breastfeeding is difficult, but if you can, stick it out – you will eventually find your rhythm. If not, please don’t beat yourself up! Remember #fedisbest!
6. Hubby (still) loves you
Your marriage is not ruined. It might be on pause for a while, and that’s okay. Let your partner help you!
“Just do the dirty work, man. You gotta do the diapers, you gotta do the middle of the night thing. I mean, your wife — a human being will exit your wife, so she’s done enough. Just change the diapers and do all that stuff.” “
We know you are a superwoman, but it’s okay to let him know you are not always okay…
7. It gets better…
I’m not there yet. I’m still trying to find the balance between parenting, my marriage, stretchmarks and just life in general.
There are days that I want to crawl under my duvet cover, covered in spit-up and never ever get up.
But then there are those days… No wait, those moments that Minki holds her little brother and they both smile at me…
(Okay she’s smiling and he’s sucking his dummy, but it’s close enough). 😉
I look at them and my heart wants to explode.
I made them. I carried them. I gave birth to them. I may not be great at this postpartum thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the best damn Mom they could have ever asked for.
And on days when you (and I) feel like a complete failure, just remember that it’s okay and that you are not alone.
Slowly the haze will lift and you will wake up one day and realise you love motherhood.
(At least that’s what happened to me).
Helene & Minki & Joshua
(For the first time)!
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