Guilt. What is up with that? I’ve never felt guilt like this. Let me introduce you:
Mom meet Mom Guilt. Mom Guilt meet Mom.
It’s so messed up. I mean I literally give my life to this little human on a daily basis and I still somehow find something to feel guilty about. What the f***? Read about my 7 Lowest Motherhood Moments here (not for sensitive readers)!
Last week me and hubby went on an impromptu getaway (read hubby decided we NEED to get away NOW (either that or couples therapy) and booked our tickets to Cape Town. Most spontaneous thing I’ve done in 2,5 years.
Anyways it was great. No it was fantastic. We laughed, drank way too much wine, I got to sing out loud in the car (sorry hubby) and I realised that he’s actually (still) a funny guy and his eyes are (still) the most beautiful blue…
But there was a 3rd person with us on the road trip. Meet Mom Guilt.
Although I knew Minki was (more than) fine with granny, guilt was coming along for this fun ride.
The Mom Guilt Effect
While I’m sipping my wine… Guilt
While I’m on top of Cape Point… Guilt
When I see a Mom with her baby … Extreme Guilt (She travels with her baby, why can’t you)?
You are such a bad mom Helene! Bad, bad bad!
The cold shoulder…
Arriving home (after only 3 days), I was guilt-ridden and longed for my little angel. I jumped out of the car, presents flying everywhere. In my mind our reunion would look a little bit like Bachelor in paradise (you know the slow motion run toward each other, crying happy tears and embrace in a tender hug)?
Mmm… not so much.
Turning her head away – she said – Not you. Not you!?
Me, your Mom, the one who carried you for nine months, offered my once perky breasts to you for 13 months, cleaning your diapers (even the ones that go up to your back), co sleeping with you, the list goes on.
But oh no – NOT YOU!
Trying to hide my disappointment (and tears), I tried to keep my cool.
I’ve got the cold treatment the rest of the day, with Minki gravitating towards granny, grandpa and my sister. Even our dog got more love than me.
Late that night (after a horrible guiltridden day), she came to me and curled up on my chest. Her little arm creeping across the back of my neck: “Minki sommer hieso doedoe vanaand.” Translation: “Minki will just sleep here tonight…”
My heart melted and while she was falling asleep I cried…
But this time it was happy tears.
And when she was fast asleep, I curled up on hubby’s chest (perfectly in sync after our long awaited getaway) and realised why I just have to deal with the mom-guilt.
XOXO
Helene (& Minki)
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OMW I LITERALLY bawled my eyes out!!!!!
I’m sorry G! Did not want to make you cry… It’s just the way I’ve felt and I had to share! Xxx
O hell yes!! Every damm day!!! I feel about everything from having to work to having to fight her to sleep! I even feel guilty for not loving her enough (O, and that is not even possible because I’ve never loved anything or anyone as I do her).
So yes, it’s there, like an annoying friend that never leaves!!!
I even start having nightmares that I’m ruining my child if I tell her no, when she tries to do something dangerous!
Being a mom is super fun, but it does come with a lot of extra baggage that I sure as hell could do without!
And mine is only 15 months, I’m only just starting!
My most latest incident, she got bitten by a flea, and o boy, that made me feel like the most incompetent, horrible mother ever!!! How could I allow my child to be bitten by a flea! How could I allow a flea to be in my house!!!
So yes I feel your pain!!!
Aaaw G! I feel your pain! I really do! And that’s the real crazy part.. We love them with every fiber in our being and that’s actually good enough. So we don’t have to feel guilty about working or flea bites… 😉 But it’s always there and we really need to try and change that! And I know that you are one AWESOME WONDERFUL MOM, you just have to believe it! Xxx
Omw this post is so ironic!!! Just a few days ago i vented on my Instagram about the overwhelming feeling of guilt!!! My 9month old who Co sleeps with me fell down the bed without me noticing or even hearing her cries!!! So because im a SAHM im so drained at night and i think my entire mind and body goes into a sleep state i just couldn’t wake up And for the first time in 9months i never heard her scream in pain for the first time in 9months i never reacted to the slighest sound or movement she makes, And my oh my that was a horrible day i kept thinking back to the moment my husband woke me up with eyes as big as pennys In shock himself he actually started speaking so loudly he woke the rest of the kids!!! And for the entire day i was consumed with guilt it was eating at me every free moment i got. But luckily our babies are so resilient she was perfectly fine the next morning. P.S i cried more than she did ??#Guilttrip #MomGuilt
I’m so glad she’s okay Nashieta! But I’m pretty sure you are NOT a Mom if you’re kid has not fallen of the bed once (or twice) Ha ha! And I know the sleep state… I was a sahm for 2 years and in the evening you are EXHAUSTED. And the worst part is we feel so guilty and then they are actually fine! The joys of motherhood. Xxx
I was zipping up my son’s sleeper one day and caught his skin at the top of the zipper. I didn’t even realize it at first because it took him a few seconds to react. Then I couldn’t get it unzipped. It was probably all of four seconds, but it felt like forever and I felt like the worst mom in the world.
Accidents happen Kgomotso! I actually zipped Minki’s skin with her brand new swimming costume – she was screaming and even showed me the mark for days after. I also felt horrible! But she lived and accidents happen! Xxx
It is frustrating and somewhat overwhelming to deal with , especially when you have two kids and one feel less your favorite or sometimes sneak goodies just for one child,it feels really bad,I make up in many ways for it like a treat or movie
I can imagine Nicole! But as long as you love them both then it’s more than enough I’m sure. Xxx
Being a single mom widowed at a young age left to raise my precious daughter. I went on a date after two years of being widowed. I felt so guilty it was like I was betraying her and her daddy in heaven.
I look at her and think I am all she has in this world and how can I leave her with a babysitter to date.
Worst feeling ever…..
Aaaw Ansha I’m so sorry for your loss. But you need to be happy as well and yes she is precious to you but I’m sure she (and her daddy) would want you to be happy (again). Xxx
I’m guilty of serving the kids frozen dinners that are microwave. This usually happens when I come home late from work.
Oh my word Mala at least you are serving them dinner! I’m a Woolworhts fanatic because I cannot cook!! So stop feeling guilty! 🙂
My second born is a year and five months, since he was born we haven’t had a proper date with my husband because I am not ready to leave his side. Whenever we go out just for dinner or lunch without him I always have my phone on the table on vibration so that whenever the nanny could call she should always get hold of me. This means that though we not traveling with him, he is always there as my mind is always thinking that maybe he might be crying though I leave him every day going to work but going out it’s different. I always feel guilty as I feel I leave him behind enough when I go to work. How I deal with my guilt I comfort myself by telling myself that I also deserve a break from kids, a little bit of piece of mind ?
You should really stop feeling so guilty Tshilidzi! You need quality time and date nights is a must! He will be fine! I don’t know why we struggle so much with this guilt? It seems like men does not have that problem at all! 🙂
Feel so much for you. I love him unconditionally and he is the reason i was placed on earth but i always feel i fail him in one way or other
And I’m sure you are not failing him Thea! Failure is part of motherhood! But as long as there is love everything is perfect. Xxx
We are having our and baby next year April and I always say to my son who’s my favourite in the universe and he says CALEB , while lying in bed after rezding a story I say and who will be my 2 favourites in the universe he replys CALEB and Aaaron ,with that he looks at me and say BUT mommy I loved you 1st ? , I had to tell him I am going to get the mosquito stuff so I could go cry ?…. that moment of DID we make the right decision on having a 2nd ? All that guilt of now he thinks we love him less omw ? and so much GUILT !
Aaaw shame Angel! You know what… You are giving your son the greatest gift – a little sibling. And one day he will thank you for his little brother/sister. So stop feeling guilty. We are 4 children and my Mom use to say: Her heart has 4 rooms – one for each one of us. So just tell little Caleb that he will always have 1 of the rooms in your heart! Xxx
As my first baby only due in January, I know I too would feel guilty of leaving baby with grandma to go on a date with my husband or me time at the stores
Congrats Alison!!! He/she will change your life but in a good way! NO you must try to not feel the mom guilt! Happy mom = happy baby! And moms need me time! Xxx
Pretending to be really sick when all I am is just exhausted. My kids feel so sorry for me and then I feel so guilty.
Exhaustion is a sickness Yasmeen! So don’t feel guilty. After reading 45 stories in the evening I pretend to be so tired/sick that Minki actually puts me into bed and then she sleeps! So I’m also guilty! 🙂
Don’t ever feel guilty sometimes we just need to getaway from the kids, no matter how much you love and care for them, you just need some me time . Nobody better to look after your child than grandma
Amen Louise!!! Grannies are from heaven! I also tend to be a much better Mom when I had some me time.. So it’s a win win situation! Xxx
My mom guilt is when I leave my small boy and he cries for me sometimes (that is when he is awake ). I feel so terrible and I feel like such a bad mum.
Just the fact that you worry shows that you are a great Mom Adeline! You can’t always be there for him, but you will always love him and that’s enough.
My worst mom guilt is when I bumped her head taking her out of her carseat and when I am leaving her over the weekend for a while at grandma while we spend some quality time together.
Grannies are from heaven!!! I need to send you an article I read the other day about how beneficial it actually is for babies/kids to visit granny/grandpa! Scientifically proven! So stop feeling guilty and enjoy your quality time. Xxx
I felt the Mom guilt when i went back to work after having my first son and having to work late nights.
So when i got home, he was already asleep.
But the worst time when i felt Mom guilt was when i missed most my first childs milestones.
His first word was Emile, in his own toddler way. Not Mama but my brothers name.
Aaaw Anthea, that’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry! But I’m sure he loves his Mama the most! Xxx
My worst mom moment is when my son fell over in the bath and swallowed some water. I worried all night as I thought he wasn’t ok. Google is not always your friend when you’re a mom as the different diagnosis make you worry even more.
I also always feel guilty when I feel like I need a break from my baby. I feel like a bad mom. But I have come to terms with the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect mom. No two babies are the same. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed at times. It’s not that I’m doing everything wrong, I am just trying my best and that is what makes a good mom. To just be the best mom you can be for your child.
Just because you are worrying so much shows that you are a great Mom Charne! And I totally agree Dr Google is not your friend! And we do need breaks from baby – then we’ve got renewed energy to take care of them. Xxx
When I scold my boy after he is naughty.
Me too! I’m the worst Mom at discipline ever! But they do need boundaries so you are actually doing him a favour… 🙂
My mom guilt is leaving the kids with my mom to go on a date night with hubby. I deal with it by assuring myself that the kids are fine and that I deserve a break. I make up for it by showing the kids more affection when I get back.
Date nights are a must! I also feel guilty but you are giving your kids the greatest gift – a happy marriage and house to grow up in! And happy marriages need date nights! Simple as that! 😉
being a mum is the greatest gift ever, we not perfect we also make mistakes but we love with our all. And our kids are our evetything, with the stress of daily life
We tend to take that stress out on our kids, im gulity of shouting my princess
For messing the kitchen, afterwards felt so horrible when she started to cry. I wanted to cry with her,
Well said Mama! we are not perfect but we love our kids and that’s all that matters. Love this! Thank you for entering! Xxx
When our little one was a baby and I couldn’t get him to stop crying, I started tearing and it was a mom fail coz I needed to stay in control and not become emotional
Aaaw Sofiah, it’s impossible to stay calm all the time. I sometimes lose my cool and that’s okay… We can’t be in control all the time! Nothing to feel guilty about! I’m sure you are a wonderful Mama! Xxx
Mommy of three kids and having to work shifts makes me feel so guilty . The night shifts is when I feel despair of leaving them but I have to work. I feel as if I should not leave them and guilt ridddles me often whilst I am working.
It’s tough so often I feel guilty I should be with them as they grow and miss out due to work. Difficult situation
It’s the constant struggle of any working Mom Sharne. So try and stop feeling guilty. You are working hard to provide for them and by working you are a better Mom because you are happy. But it’s never easy…
After having my first baby I decided to take a break from work to focus on raising her, over the years I’ve had my guilt moments but none exceeds going back to work. After 3 and a half years of staying at home I went back to work and that meant my little Rosie had to go to kindergarten. It wasn’t an easy decision as I was so attached to her I felt like a part of me was being cut out. I always made sure I took her with to vacations, the first day I dropped her off at kindergarten she didn’t even cry, she waved me good bye and simply went on to join her teacher. .. to say I was heart broken would be an understatement I kept thinking maybe she didn’t love me anymore, she would form strong bonds with the people she spends her time at kindergarten and not me… I wailed like a little kid in a candy shop, such guilt I’ve never felt before in my life.
A few weeks back they had a concert and I came back from work, and had to put together an outfit for her.. she wanted to be a butterfly, as tired as I was I stayed up painting with her so she would look lovely.
A few days ago whilst dropping her off I had a small chat with her teacher and told me a conversation she had with my little one Rosie
Teacher: Rosie your butterfly outfit is bright and beautiful it looks so good on you
Rosie: I know my mommy made it, even when she was tired she said she wouldn’t let me down
The lump on my throat when the teacher told me this made it hard to swallow, my little one was growing up and all the guilt just disappeared for a moment. “Mommying” can be so hard sometimes, with all the guilt we feel but I wouldnt trade it for anything
Oh no! Now I’m crying! What a beautiful story!!! “She wouldn’t let me down even when she was tired.” So honest, so true. You have nothing to feel guilty about Patience! You sound like an amazing Mama to little Rosie! It was very hard for me as well when Minki had to go to kindergarten and I had exactly the same fears (she’s going to love her teacher more ext), but as it turns out she is having a great time and she still loves me (the most)! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your beautiful store, stop feeling guilty and send me a picture of your butterfly! Xxx
I’m a mother of five beautiful children ranging from 18 months to 18 years. I feel guilty whenever I spoil myself. Even though my kids needs are taken care of; and they have all they want. I feel I shouldn’t spend money on me. It has to be a Mommy thing lol
Oh no Lucille!!! You should never feel guilty to spoil yourself! Oh my word you are Mom to 5 beautiful children!!! I don’t even know how you do it! So you definitely deserve a spa day or just get your nails done! And STOP feeling guilty! I’m trying to change the guilt because we are such good moms and we do not have to feel guilty all the time! 🙂
Every morning when I wake up,preparing for work it always hit me hard that I get emotional leaving him at home with my mom, as am writing now I left at 06:15am he was still sleeping I will only get home after 9 pm…I wish I can change the situation but am a single mom I have to provide for him
Aaaaw Neliswa, comments like yours make me tear up! It’s so horrible to leave them with someone else but you have to work! And at least your Mom is like the 2nd best person (after you) to take good care of your precious boy. One day he will be so proud of his Mama, working to provide for him! So I think you are doing a great job! Xxx
This weekend gone past I was busy packing(alone) partner is on coarse ang I have 3 older kids unpacking as I am packing, a sick pup and my 8 month old son. We only had this weekend gone by to get most of the packing done , next weekend is my daughters birthday and dont want to spoil her day by packing the whole day. Last night I broke down noticing I was so busy getting everything finished, packing,getting kids ready, sorting out arguments between the two older children and trying to keep the sick pup hydrated every hour. That I probley spent a half a hour with my son(Declan 8 months old) the entire time, I kept on handing him to my aunt so that I could get finished. Now I am back at work and havent even spent any quality time with my son except the few breastfeeding brakes I had to take. I honestly feel so incompetant mother at the moment. How do other mothers get it right I just dont know.
Aaaw sounds like you are going through a crazy busy patch Tiffany! I don’t think any Mom gets it “right.” I think we are just all trying our best! And the fact that you are worrying about not spending enough quality time with Declan shows that you are a great Mom. And in a few weeks time things will hopefully be calmer and you can make up for lost time. I also struggle with mom guilt but I try to look at it differently! Sometimes you can’t be with kiddo a lot and that’s okay… as long as they know you love them to bits! Thanks for entering and I hope you have a lovely week! Xxx
Thanks for sharing, I feel relieved now, knowing I’m not the only one that feels guilty at times, I normally feel guilty spoiling myself ?
You are NOT alone Ashlynne! I struggle with mom guilt every single day! And you need to spoil yourself because a happy mom = happy baby! Xxx
A happy m9m is a happy child you owe it to yourself n9tvto be a martyr
Preaching the truth right there!! Love it! 🙂
It has to be when I purchase something for myself. Little spoils like a pair of shoes. And I start wandering off to the kiddies and take something for them instead. That always gets me
Such a huge problem!!! And the kids stuff are always so darn cute!!? I actually shop for me and Minki! And then I get into trouble with hubby…Eish!
I suffer with mom guilt too! Every. Single. Day.
I’m a working mom, so when I get home I try and make the most of my time with my boy, but I always land up rushing and putting him to bed so I can have 5 mins to myself. As soon as he is asleep, mom guilt comes out and I regret the time on my own. I want to go back and wake up my boy so we can have the evening back to enjoy our time together. They grow so fast, and I feel so guilty for rushing my little boy! So relax time = me + mom guilt.
Oh no Candice! But I know this feeling so well.. We desperate want to spend quality time with our babies but we also (desperately) want/need some me time. It’s a constant battle! I try to give 100% when I’m with her and when she’s asleep or playing tennis with daddy I enjoy my me time without feeling guilty! But it’s a constant struggle! Xxx
Mom guilt! I know that feeling, as I’m sure every mommy does! I remember experiencing this very clearly when my son was born prematurely, and spent 2 weeks in the neonatal High Care ward! There were a few evenings after I’d spent the whole day at the hospital doing feeds and looking after my son that my hubby convinced me that I needed to go home for a good dinner, some rest and do some breast pumping. I remember crying my eyes out at the thought that I was leaving my child with the nurses to be fed for the midnight and early morning feeds. My poor tiny little guy left alone to fend for himself without his mommy! That being said the nurses are incredible and do such fantastic work with our kiddies! It’s just hard for us moms to leave our babes. My poor hubby had to deal with a lot of guilt and tears those few difficult days!
We are now expecting our second child and I think my son can sense that something is happening to mommy – he clings to me screaming when I drop him off at school in the mornings and I eventually have no choice but to leave him. It’s not a fun feeling to know that he’s crying for me but I have to walk away and go back to work 🙁 I hope it’s just a phase and goes back to loving school soon enough and that his baby brother decides to stay inside until he is full term so we don’t have to spend any more time in the NICU.
Wow Kelly,reading posts like this I just realise once again what an amazing “job” we/you are doing! We would happily give our lives for our babies. And we tend to think that they need us, just as ALL THE TIME, but then it’s actually okay to leave them for a while to take a shower or eat something. Congratulations with baby nr 2! I think the clinging is definitely a phase… they also tend to regress a little once baby is born. That’s just normal and will pass! (I’ve seen it a lot of times during my teaching years)! 🙂 Now lets hope baby nr 2 stays inside! Xxx
My mum guilt.. I’VE GOT TWO TODDLER BOYS AGED 1 AND 2 YEARS OLD.. NEVER A MOMENTS PEACE TI MYSELF AS MY YOUNGEST IS LITERALLY STUCK TO ME WHEREVER I GO.. SO HUBBY DECIDED TO TAKE ME OUT ONE MORNING (BECAUSE AFTERNOON AND NIGHTS ARE RESERVED FOR BABIES) WHILE THERE MY MUM CALLED AND I COULD HEAR MY YOUNGEST SCREAMING FOR ME.. SHE SAID HE HADN’T EATEN OR DRANK SINCE I LEFT.. I FELT SO GUILTY.. AS SOON AS OUR MEAL FINISHED WE RUSHED BACK HOME.. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE HOUSE WAS IN A TOTAL MESS
Aaaaw shame Theshnee!! I so feel your pain!!! I also have a little girl stuck to my hip… and I can’t tell you how many times we rushed back from a meal or movie because she was crying. But you also need to take care of yourself! And they need to learn to deal with that! But it’s difficult… Stop feeling guilty please! You deserve some time for yourself! And if all else fails… they do grow up! (not my advice, my mom)! 🙂
I had to work and didn’t have a helper. I had to send my 1 year old to live with my mom in jhb for 3 months. It almost killed me! He was happy and loved and so spoilt but I missed him so much!!
That must have been horrible Anushka.. but you did what you had to do to provide for your baby. But I can imagine you missed him like crazy!!
My newborn takes all my time and I feel extremely guilty for not having enough time for my 5 year old who constantly has to beg for my attention.. just love this blog
Aw shame Laa-iqah! Naturally you are going to have to spend more time with your newborn. And I’m sure your 5 year old will understand and will someday be so grateful for a sibling. Xxx
my mom guilt right now is going back to work and leaving my 4months old..this is my first baby and first time job so its really hard
Aaaw shame Ntokozo! But you are providing for your little one and that is so important. Going back to work does not make you a bad mom!! Xxx
Being a first time mom is both rewarding and challenging . I have been exhausted most days and spend every hour with my girl if I am not at work. Ive recently started to take random leave days . Once every 2 months,and i literally do nothing.i drop my daughter at creche and pick her up the time i would when i work. I do whatever i feel for the day.i feel guilty because i could have spent it with her but then i realise i need the time out formy own sanity and a happy mum is a better mum.
So true Tasneem! That doing nothing is keeping you sane and it makes you a better Mom! On Wednesdays when hubby leaves work early to play tennis he takes Minki with.. I literally pour a glass of wine and watch reality shows. Yes I’ve got to work. Yes I can go to the gym. But afterwards I feel a little bit more like myself. Ha ha if that makes sense? Xxx
Letting him have ice-cream on a sat morning just so i can sleep for 5 more minutes ?
Ooo Angelique.. That’s not so bad! I let her play video games on my phone.. just to sleep for 5 MORE MINUTES!! Oh the joys of motherhood… Xxx
Well as a mom of four kids its extremely hard not to feel that mom guilt. Everyday is quite a challenge. The quarells between siblings, and when i have had it i tend to shout at them. Because now i have there full attention as they see me raving like a lunatic. I feel terrible most of the time. Being a SAHM is not easy yet i enjoy being there for my kids. I love them all dearly but sometimes feel as if they probably think mom favours one above the other. I always try to be fair with all of them. There are just not enough hours in the day. My husband and i make time to go out alone at least once or twice a month. And yes i feel extremlely guilty when i leave them.. But will always leave some nice treats or bring them something nice when we get back. But the guilt does not go away easily!
Wow… I can only imagine having 4 kids.. we are four children and when we were little we asked my Mom: Who do you love the most?? Her answer.. My heart has 4 rooms – 1 for each of you. And even now I remember her answer.. 🙂 But she also said she is 60 and still feels the guilt.. So momlife is definitely hard! Xxx
My boy was just six months my mom said I can go out me and my boyfriend at the time now my husband took a drive to the beach is felt so guilty leaving him behind we only stayed for about a hour and made my husband rush home to him in held him so tight feeling extremely guilty.Does guilt ever stop I don’t think so my son being 7years old now I’m a stay at home mom decided to go work him asking me mom why you not at home when I come from school,why don’t you fetch me anymore guilt just build up again eventually decided to quit my job.It just never stop even when I enjoy the last ice cream i feel guilty not leaving some for him for when he comes from school.
Antonio… Just reading this I feel so sorry for you. You really need to try and change your mindset. It’s clear that you love your son unconditionally but you also have to take care of yourself and your marriage. So instead of feeling guilty all the time… Try and tell yourself that happy mom = happy baby/child and you need some me time/hubby time ext to be happy. But I know the struggle.. but try and change that! Xxx
The usual guilt of going back to work after 5 wonderful months at home with our first. You unfortunately get used to that guilt. Currently home on maternity leave with our second, also will have 5 months with him, already dreading going back in January… the current guilt though is dividing my time between my two beautiful boys, it’s tough not being able to give my full attention to both, and whenever I’m exclusively with one I feel guilty about the other. Then there is also trying to keep calm when the big brother is too wild around little bro. Yet big bro is only 3 so quite little himself.
Us mamas only try our best though!
Wow! Just reading this I take my hat off to you Helge-Mari! I only have one and I feel guilty! So I can only imagine juggling the guilt between two beautiful kids! And you are so right – just trying our best is actually good enough! If we can just take that and stop the damn guilt! Xxx
Mom guilt.. I feel it daily when I leave home at 5 for to work. I’m not able to greet, dress or feed my little girl before she starts her day and it really eats away at me cause it feels like I’m failing her.
But you are going to work to provide for her. And that’s more than enough. But I know.. I also feel guilty every single time I drop her off at school. But you know what? They are actually okay and happy (as long as we love them unconditionally)! 🙂
When wanting to have a moms night out or some mom alone time and i drop little one off at grans, guilty of wanting to have some alone girly time and also guilty of dumping little one at grans as grans are to be looked after not look after your ones…..
Aaaa Kaylen, no grandparents are the best! I really need to send you an article I read recently.. basically comes down to the fact that grandparents who look after their grand kids (more often) actually lives longer! So that’s great! Not to mention the advantages staying at grandparents have for kiddo – really! Scientifically proven. I’ll do a blog on it! So take your me time – without the guilt! Xxx